This section summarizes the life experiences that gave birth to the web site. As the outline took shape, two broad themes came into view: seminal thoughts and critical experiences. These were the warp and woof of the fabric of my life. Initially I outlined the material as two sections, one for each broad theme. But the threads of the fabric were too tightly interwoven to distinguish them as logical sections.

At first exploring the thoughts and experiences worked best when I integrated the subthemes into one broad rational outline. But the outline did not capture the message in the story. Then I turned to the intuitive mind to reveal the threads in my tapestry. So preparing this section involved a dialogue between the rational and intuitive modes of my mind and an interplay among the seminal thoughts and critical experiences in my life.

While doing the writing, I discovered it was about the transformation of my smaller selves into The Intuitive Self. The more I reflected, the more this larger Self became indistinguishable from my Soul. As exploration of the threads deepened, the Self, Soul and The Intuitive Self blended together as the essence of who I am. My life experience slowly liberated me from domination by the rational mind so that I could flower as a child of God.

From Thought to Experience

Brought up in Western culture, words and thinking have been critical in the formation of my understanding. It has been extraordinary to see how a single word or phrase from forty or fifty years ago has had such a decisive impact on my perspective. In recent years, what others have said and written seem less important. Fleeting images and causal circumstances now play a larger role in helping me discover who I am.

As I reflected on where I came from, one conclusion stood out: every experience no matter how seemingly grand or insignificant had been meaningful. When I opened to them, rich metaphors of discovery lay barely hidden behind each moment. Every experience offered a mirror to see some deeper dimension of myself. Each day confirmed that life was a miracle. Who knows what discovery lurks behind the next seemingly inconsequential experience.

In the relatively unaware state that I stumbled through life, metaphors of meaning whether intellectual or experiential remained hidden from view most of the time. Creating this site encouraged me to consciously review those moments of discovery to uncover and savor their significance. In doing so, their daily presence has become more apparent. Now it seems each moment is pregnant with life's meaning.

In this transition, experience played a larger role in shaping my view. Now what others say and what I read serve more to validate my experience than inform me with new ideas. This reflects my belief that we all know everything that we need to know. I have learned that recovering The Intuitive Self is more important than book knowledge. However given my rational upbringing, concepts and thinking opened the door to the meaning of life beyond words and ideas.

Out of Time

This fabric of meaning was not woven in time. Since the threads are not sequential, my memoir does not follow calendar time. One paragraph may touch on an experience or thought 50 years ago and the next jump to something that happened last week. I found the magic carpet that brought me here had a life of its own out of time. When I tried to arrange material in chronological sequence, meaning would disappear in favor of strings of facts.

Although the material is not chronological, the threads are arranged in an order that made the most sense. Since situations within one thread overlap in time and place with those in others, they can be viewed in sequence or out of order as you like. Even though all threads are of one fabric in my mind, they can be read individually since each stands largely on its own. If it were possible, I would like for you to grok the whole gestalt at once. That is how it has the deepest meaning for me.

Threads and Supplements

The Threads (chapters) are organized around themes. Each has several Supplements that are reached from links in the paragraph where the related topic is introduced. Most Supplements are composed of excerpts from writings that were influential in the evolution of my philosophy. These paragraphs are from books where I underlined, highlighted or wrote notes in the margin. Within each Supplement, added emphasis appears in red, and my reactions are enclosed in a box:

Reactions to the material in the box are comparable to the marginal notes or journal entries I made about the material. They summarize my dialogue with the authors. Through exploring my reactions, I learned how their ideas shaped my philosophy.

Going to the cliffs to listen to the surf is my favorite way to take a break. After sitting for awhile, I return to the keyboard refreshed and renewed. Writing the last Threads, a poem came while listening to the surf:

Surf

The rhythm of the sea.

Building up,
Swelling full.

Reaching high,
Bending over.

Cresting out,
Letting go.

Tumbling down,
Washing away.

As far as the eye can see.



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